Monthly Archives: August 2015

The Edinburgh Festival – they are really Dad Jokes, I know

Every year there is a competition to find the best joke of the festival, I say best joke as they usually get a groan and not a real belly laugh. I read all the runners up and I think they need a mention so here we go with all the listed jokes I could find.

The winner was; Darren Walsh: I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It’s Hans free.

Here are the rest of the top 10;

Stewart Francis: Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse … but enough about Kanye West.

Adam Hess: Surely every car is a people carrier?

Masai Graham: What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

Dave Green: If I could take just one thing to a desert island, I probably wouldn’t go.

Mark Nelson: Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That’s not a miracle. That’s tapas.

Tom Parry: Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight. Blue sky at night: day.

Alun Cochrane: The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves.

Simon Munnery: Clowns divorce: custardy battle.

Grace the Child: They’re always telling me to live my dreams. But I don’t want to be naked in an exam I haven’t revised for.

The nominated runners-up.

Ian Smith: If you don’t know what introspection is, you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.

Tom Ward: I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one-to-one time.

Gyles Brandreth: Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I’m reminded of the definition of a gentleman. It’s someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn’t.

Ally Houston: Let me tell you a little about myself. It’s a reflexive pronoun that means “me”.

That’s all for this week and I dont think I will get round to sharing some more jokes for a while as we are just starting our busy season saving clients money on new servers but for all of you engineers out there this has kept us amused at cmx for quite a while, it really applies to us, believe me.



The first and the last question – usually virus related.

cmx logo new 2015

This is about virus infections and a DIY way to clear them.

The first question anyone asks me on the business meeting networking circuit, when they have got to know me after the what do you do is, “I think my” usually followed by either son or daughter’s “machine has a virus” and usually “Its doing …………” then we get, “I’ve checked it with AVG and it’s not found anything”, I usually act interested but I’m unsurprised when someone mentions AVG. It’s free and cheap and if the only way to get more users is to give it away then that says it all, there are millions of people out there thinking they are safe because they haven’t been told they aren’t.

Lets look at a simile, your house is being burgled, the first thing they do is to try to be undetected and turn off any alarms. If you had the cheapest alarm such as a tin can and a piece of string you wouldn’t be surprised if it didn’t work and they could cut the string. Did I say I don’t like AVG?

Other protection systems are so big they encase your house in steel box but for some reason they sometimes leave a cat flap open big enough for a lion. Welcome to the world of Norton and McAfee. Now the problem is that the steel case theory is brilliant, if done correctly, but it does rather limit how you can use your house (Trend AV).

So apart from the fact that we love ESET what should you do if you suspect that you have a virus or malware? Just click here  and download our DIY helpsheet. Its easy to use and its the initial actions we take when we come across a problem. If this doesn’t cure it then we need it in our workshops.

We can also supply you with advice and a 30-day trial ESET package. Just email me

Oh and the last question, well its the same one about viruses but it’s one our clients never ask, they don’t need to, they have us looking after them not an enthusiastic amateur. playing at being a professional. So its the last question our clients will ever ask.


What’s the problem with Windows 10? Go for it! Maybe.

We have now had Windows 10 Professional full versions installed for two weeks and two of us at the CMX Colchester Centre decided to use it full time, one of us was on the Microsoft preview testing panel since the beginng of last year.

Overall its pretty good and stable but we have had some headaches on the way, some have been curable and we have found work rounds for the other. Unless you are happy to submit to Microsoft’s will then you would be recommended to talk to us about installing it.


Although its a good product it is not for everyone, we would liken it to a Microsoft’s attempt to have an Apple OS but they have assumed that every user is a home user and probably a “numpty” with zero help from the shop where it was purchased If after reading this you want to go down the high street and buy it we wish you luck, remember because we will see you in a few months time when its really annoyed you too far.

Here is a list of the annoyances;

Sells your soul to the world

One of the things that sneaks in is that if you agree then all your worldly knowledge will become known by Microsoft and probably just a few billion other people over time. Do not sign up for the “tell us all” option. There is an easy way round this when you know.

Windows Defender.

The built in anti-virus and malware protector, in a recent test it scored 0.5 out of 6. Says it all and in the home version you can’t turn it off. It will turn itself on again assuming you are either forgetful or an idiot. We have a solution for this. We have managed to stop it and install our favourite AV software ESET.

It hates business domains.

All businesses with a server run with domains, it was Active Directory was designed to work with, well it doesn’t. It will let you connect to a network resource provided you have the username and password, no change there but there it stops, it forgets so you use a drive or network resource you have to type it in again. We have a cure for this.

Automatic updates

Windows 10 doesn’t give users a choice when it comes to system updates. It automatically accepts them. On one hand this helps the computer go about its business of updating accordingly. It also ensures that the computer is up to date on security patches, but automatic updating enables Microsoft to force-feed virtually whatever it wants onto a user’s device. The other problem is that it will re-boot when it likes, even in sleep and you loose what was open and unsaved. It also might decide to do an update as you turn it off to board a plane. The only fix is in the professional version where we have to do something like blindfold brain surgery.

Forced update causes crashes

Another problem caused by the forced updates is that they can crash your computer. Rebooting your computer should fix that or you can uninstall the driver that’s causing problems.

Forced update causes software clashes

The forced updates are by far the worst aspect of Windows 10. Yet another problem that can occur is when a Windows update coincides with a third party driver management software update. This can cause a crash. The third party software can be halted, but the Windows update cannot. Your best bet is uninstall third party driver management and letting Windows take care of all the system updates, which gives Microsoft power over another company’s products, which isn’t good.

Wi-Fi password sharing

Windows 10 comes with a system called Wi-Fi Sense, originally found in Windows Phone 8.1. It enables users to share your Wi-Fi network access with your contacts on Facebook, Skype, and Outlook. Sharing is good, but this is going too far, as the feature automatically shares your password (encrypted) to everyone you’re connected to including spammers and malware suppliers. We have a cure for this.

Printer not responding

After upgrading, you find that your printer isn’t working, you may have to start the whole installation process over. In order to ensure seamless connectivity, everything, even the drivers of accompanying hardware, should be updated in advance of upgrading. Make sure you’re using a printer that’s compatible with Windows.

Microsoft edge

Windows 10 comes with a new web browser called Microsoft Edge, which is the new default internet browser across all Microsoft devices. The browser includes a “home” button that you add or take off the toolbar. Click on that button and you’ll be routed to the site of your choosing

Microsoft edge – Finding favourites

The trouble with an all-new browser is that it won’t transfer pages you have favourited on IE. You can, however, transfer all your bookmarks over by opening Microsoft Edge, checking off Internet Explorer and clicking on “import favourites.” Your favourites should now be loaded onto the Edge Favourites tab.

Microsoft edge – Pop ups

Microsoft Edge loves its pop-up ads. You’ll need to go into Internet Options, and under Privacy select “Turn On Pop-Up Blocker” in Settings. That sounds obvious, but it doesn’t end there. You’ll also want to click (just below that in the InPrivate section) on “Disable Toolbars and extensions when InPrivate browsing starts.”

Microsoft edge – Music

Because Edge is a universal app, its actions are suspended when it’s minimized. This is really annoying when you’re streaming music on it. There is no fix for this, so you simply have to stream your music from another source if you plan to listen to it while using your device for other activities.

Microsoft edge – AMD

Edge is probably going to have to undergo a couple overhauls before it’s a competent browser. If you’re using AMD GPU with it, expect “frequent crashes” according to Microsoft. To avoid this, go to Settings > Update and Security > Windows Update > Advanced and change to Slow Ring.

Mail Fan?

Many who’ve previewed Windows 10 say that Windows Mail available on version 8.1 was superior. This is because you could create folders and subfolders, which you can’t do with the Mail app in Windows 10 (at least as of now). People who want to do more email customizing are using Thunderbird instead, which works well with Windows 10.


The Chrome browser, a complicated ecosystem unto itself, is extra finicky on Windows 10. Perhaps this is Microsoft’s subversive way of getting more people to use Edge? You may find it particularly buggy while running YouTube. If you must use this browser, be mindful of extensions. Run as few as possible.

Some users have found that Chrome crashes without warning and simply does not wake back up when reopened. The solution? Unfortunately, you’ll have to uninstall and reinstall Chrome.

Mind your settings

When you upgrade to Windows 10, a Setting Screen will pop up asking if you want to use the new Photos, Movies, TV, and the Microsoft Edge browser. It seems instinctual to check yes, since you want access to these features. Consider though that if you do check yes, all your default applications will be Microsoft. Best to not select this setting and instead choose to use specific Microsoft apps going forward.

Blue Screen of Death

Hopefully you won’t face this, but some previewers have complained of their system crashing, showing only the infamous blue screen of death. If you find yourself facing this very not good situation, you should reset your PC. To do so, find the Recovery section inside the PC settings. To go to the Recovery section, search for “reinstall” in the search tool inside the Start menu then click on “Remove everything and reinstall Windows.”

Tricky Touch Screen

Some users previewing Windows 10 on their mobile devices say that the touchscreen abilities are not as intuitively functional as they should be. For instance, it’s easy to miss the edge of a window when trying to drag it, and some of the icons are too small to grasp with your finger pad. Unfortunately, this is just the nature of the beast. There’s really not much other than practice that will help you overcome this finicky problem.

Free for now

This isn’t so much a problem as it is a gentle warning. Windows 10 will be available as a free upgrade but only for one year. After that it retails for £120. A year feels like a long time, but in the world of technology it’s a blink of an eye, so don’t put this upgrade off for too long … just long enough to let the initial kinks get ironed out.


Bearing in mind it’s free so we don’t make money out of your choice whatever you choose, If you are running Windows 7 or 8.1 then go for it, but only with our advice or help. One day you will be running it so why not go for it now? If you hang on and install it yourself then many of the above “features” will still be there.



Windows 10 two weeks on, The gad and the bood.

Its been nearly two weeks since two cmx specialists installed Windows 10 on three systems. One had been following the trial and the other was a new to Windows 10. The verdict is that its not ready for business use, hence the spoonerism “gad & the bood” Its a mix up.

The verdict

  1. Overall the loading was not easy, Some Win 7/8.1 codes would not load, there are US and UK versions which load differently and exclude some software. Only good as an upgrade.
  2. The new interface with start button, desktop and tiles is good but not excellent. The icon pictures are tiny and its tricky to find what you want.
  3. It’s just not ready for general release,
  4. It wont work with domains which 99% of businesses using servers need.
  5. Security settings are lost as part of the upgrade
  6. You cant remove the built in Anti-virus and use your preferred vendor.
  7. It connects all your personal data to the Internet and uploads it, so zero for security.
  8. You cant stop upgrades unless you edit the group policy or registry, not a user area to try
  9. They are trying to out-apple Apple in ease of use and getting it all mixed up.
  10. Its faster than 7 or 8.1 but do we need the equivalent of a faster instant coffee.
  11. If you turns things off then it assumes you are an idiot and turns them back on later.

Overall its a consumer product aimed at the technically naive who don’t know any better. Its designed to relieve the user of any choices but its a poor implementation of that ideal, Our overall verdict? We are running it in house but we won’t be in a rush to sell it to end users.