Move over Road rage, Its desk rage thats all the rage now.

Desk rage: angry and violent outbursts at work
Move over Road rage, Its now “Desk Rage”.
New survey from welfare charity The Brooke has found more British workers than ever before are suffering from ‘desk rage’. What is causing the anger epidemic?
Office niggles start off innocently enough. We’d prefer it if our colleague didn’t do that, or wouldn’t it be great if they did do that? Time passes and, with it, niggles turn to gripes, gripes to bugbears and, before we know it, bugbears morph into full blown ‘desk rage’.
Indeed, according to a new survey, the British workplace is rife with enraged employees. More than half of the 2,000 people polled by welfare charity The Brooke complained about their office life. Printers crashing, being called at one minute to five and colleagues suffering from halitosis, were some of the top irritations. Inspired, we realise that this does not apply to anyone at CMX as we are perfect, happy well adjusted people, but we go in an awful lot of offices where we can quietly listen in and make our own judgements. So here is the CMX A-Z observed list of office annoyances of everyone else, ok we have slipped some of ours in too but I’m not telling which.
  • Answering other peoples’ mobiles. The landline, OK. But leave the colleagues mobile alone.
  • Back-handed compliment. “You have been looking nice recently.” What? Did I look terrible before? What’s wrong with a simple ‘You look nice.”
  • Colleagues chatting loudly when there is a deadline.
  • Diets. “Really, you’ve only had a piece of cucumber all day? My goodness that’s fascinating.” Don’t bring your diet to the desk. No one cares. Fainting from hunger isn’t going to get the work done, is it?
  • Emails. Was any of that content useful for me? Did any of that content concern me? No. So stop cc’ing me. It clogs up my inbox and wastes my time.
  • Fakeness. “I’m so happy for you about the promotion! Seriously, it’s so well-deserved.” No you’re not – Just say “Well done”, the fakeness is awkward.
  • Gossiping. You’re the other side of the desk, not in another room. we can hear that whispering and it makes me feel paranoid.
  • Holidays. I get x-days holiday a year in my contract – don’t make me feel guilty for taking them.
  • Illness. If you’re ill don’t come in and splutter all over the desk. I don’t want that cold over the weekend, thank you very much.
  • Jolly. Yes, it’s nice to be in a good mood. But when you’re all smiles 24/7, constantly chirpy and positive, it’s annoying.
  • Keep saying you’re right. I know, you know, we all know that you’re wrong. Just admit you’ve made a mistake and move on. It has happened to us all.
  • Love. “Hi Love/ Darling / Chum / Mate, how are you?” I don’t know who you are and you don’t care how I am. Please don’t address me like that – it’s unprofessional and creepy.
  • Meetings. Spending an hour in a meeting – when you really need to be at your desk – going over a 10-point plan, and then being emailed exactly the same plan the next day. Did we really need the meeting? I could have picked up all I needed to know from the email.
  • Nattering. If you want to talk incessantly about nothing to each other, do it away from the desk. It’s distracting.
  • Odour. Please, please, please, just buy some deodorant. I like you, but the smell, it’s too much.
  • Pens. If you are going to borrow my pen, fine, but give it back.
  • Questions. Being repeatedly asked the same question. I told you five-minutes ago, and five-minutes before that, they haven’t come back to me yet. If the situation changes, I’ll tell you!
  • Reading over your shoulder. Is this email addressed to you? No, I didn’t think so. So stop reading!
  • Slamming the phone down. I’m sorry your day isn’t going well, but there is no need to distract the rest of us. And, is breaking the phone really going to help the situation?
  • Tears at the desk. If you’re going to cry, do it away from the desk. I’ve got work to do and don’t want to feel obliged to look after you.
  • Understanding. Lack thereof. I’ve never arrived late before, this is the first time and I have a genuine excuse, so stop raising your eyebrows.
  • Volume. We know that you’re on the phone, but does the whole office need to know? We’re not deaf, seriously calm down the decibels.
  • Work load. When suddenly more and more things become your responsibility but your salary remains the same.
  • Xxxxs. There’s a time and a place for kisses – and it’s not on the end of a work email.
  • You look well. Don’t say that to me: we all know that means I’ve put on a few pounds.
  • Zombie. You’ve had an all-nighter and come into the office with no sleep. Go out at the weekend, not mid-week. You look awful, you smell awful and you’re not going to get anything done.


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